So today Mr. Ravenda assigned us something off topic which annoys me because I'm serious about league, but screw it.
In class, we read our peers stories. I chose to review Santiago's, because Arniels was long and I forgot all the details.
and Santiago's can be interpreted in many... many ways.
Aaaaanyways, his story was about a couple named Lamar and Maria, and they go on a date to a pizza parlor. Maria isn't entirely feeling herself and it is noticeable in the way she acts. Lamar asks Maria what is wrong and she thinks they should break up. Lamar is very upset. He goes home and starts writing a song about her. Later on, Lamar sees Maria and some of her friends at the pizza parlor. All of them leave except for Maria's best friend, who later tells Lamar that Maria cut it off because he didn't pay attention to her enough and he spent too much of his time with his friends. He later leaves the song under Maria's door and when Maria finds it, she regrets breaking it off with Lamar.
So my only real feedback is that you reaaalllyyyyyyyyyy really really need to proofread your story because a lot of the passage made me think you were illiterate, BUUTTT otherwise I liked the storyline and it was obvious that the story was wrote meaningfully and you put a lot of thought into it. So good job Santi.
Dani, Out.
ITs nice that you gave him good tips on how he should write hisn next story.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you, his story-line and thought process behind it was great. Hopefully he'll do some proofreading next time to save a few braincells.
ReplyDeleteHaHa very funny.The reason i could not proof read and stuff was because google docs was not very frendly the day i typed it. I wrote a 3 1/2 page paper and it didnt save. But i really liked how you gave me tips and better ways two type. But over all i really liked your blog.
ReplyDelete