Get ready for the roast- I mean... Satire... of a lifetime, Joe.

........

.................

Is this already too brutal...?

Oh well! 

Okay, so as we all know,  the wild Joe is basically the scrub mascot of my blog. (He knows and accepts his fate.)

Legend has it that the mysterious Joe lurks in the depths of bronze waiting for his first pentakill. According to ancient scriptures,(dated somewhere in 2002), Joe's lifelong dream is to screenshot and print his first pentakill and make numerous copies, spreading his "success" throughout the land. Where he wants his pentakill to end up, you may ask? The answer lies beneath a magnet on Mr. Ravenda's refrigerator. Joe wants to bring some tone into Mr. Ravenda's life and prove he is worthy to be a part of our PSAT Verbal class. I have a feeling we will all be dead by time he gets a penta, though. 

I think this is a good time to make him a poem.

Joe.

Joe Rhymes with No.

Joe also rhymes with a certain gardening tool.

Joe goes 0-10 in his placements.

Joe really needs a replacement. 

He's so bad that it sends people into amazement.

No? Okay. I'll show myself out.

(No Joes were harmed in the making of this post.)

bai~

Life lessons.

Today I'll be sharing some of the life lessons I learned by playing league.

They all revolve around our favorite topic, tilt.

Tilt is when you get like really freaking mad at the game, to the point where you want to break things. So, today I'll give you tips on how to relieve tilt. Tilt can come from a whole bunch of things anywhere from toxic players to playing with Joe.

Here's a list of things that help me get off my losing sprees and get off of tilt.

- Play Annie. She's so easy.

- 1v1 Joe. It's easy.

- Take a break from ranked. Ranked can make you more mad because it actually matters. Normals and ARAM don't mean crap

- Take a break from league in general. This one is hard to do.

Those are a few things I do to get off my tilt. I have to say the most effective is 1v1ing Joe because he sucks. Annie is really easy. You can pretty much counter/beat anyone and she's really good to carry with. Taking a break from ranked is good because if you lose you don't lost anything and you don't risk losing your rank because your anger is blinding you.

 

To conclude, you will know when you are off tilt. You won't be so irritable and you'll take losses like a champion. Unless you're playing with Joe. Then you'll unbelievable irritable.

The Biggest Myth of League...

Riot. Tells. Lies.

So according to riot, people get banned for being bad sports, huge jerks, pieces of crap, and overall horrible people....Yeah, no.

This is one of the biggest myths of league. Riot, even if you do report people, is too lazy to collect the chat logs in games. It makes me mad some times that these people who have nothing better to do with their lives sit there trying to make poor people feel bad. I've been playing this game for a very long time, and due to that I'm not affected by anything that people  could say.  And trust me, I've heard a lot. Riot sounds very confident in it's banning system, and the whole community rolls their eyes

This is why I don't recommend league to people of soft nature. League of Legends is not for the faint of heart. This post actually came from inspiration from a game I played just recently. I went 13-5 Ahri and this 2-10 Gnar told me some disgusting things. I hope he sees this one day! (:

Dunkey Conspiracy

So I was watching one of videogamedunkey's video which I won't link because it's rather... 

Explicit.

Anyways, this video stuck out to me because it's pretty dang creepy. The thing is, its an old video from 2012, so the splash art has changed and I don't think it works anymore. I thought it was cool though, so let's get to it.

So, Dunkey got an email from a fan.

Exhibit one: 

So, it just looks like random letters right? Well, no. If you play league, you know that these are codewords for items. In this order:

Abyssal Scepter

Deathfire Grasp (This was an old item that was removed last season)

Haunting Guise

Now, you may be thinking, "So what?" Well, the sender of the email also attached this closeup picture of Abyssal Scepter...

If you zoom in, there's hidden letters.

I used a photo editor to alter the colors so you can see them better. If you still can't see them, the letters spell out D F G which is an acronym for the item we talked about earlier, deathfire grasp.

Now, moving on, lets revisit our top list of items. Let's move on to Haunting Guise. This is where it gets creepy.

This is a Haunting Guise. There is also a message hidden in this splash art. It is in the top left corner and this one is a little harder to see. I'll edit the colors for this one too.

Here it is:

If you still can't see it, the letters say S W. That means "Stealth Ward"  Wards grant vision, meaning that it lets you see things you wouldn't otherwise see. Let's get to the stealth ward.

This is the icon for a stealth ward:

No messages right? or so you think. Let's zoom into that pupil a little.

Nothing.

Let me do a little color editing.

Yup. I freaked the hell out when I was editing the colors, because that my friend is creepy. This is not fake. I am ENCOURAGING you to take the picture of the stealth ward, Zoom in the pupil, Increase the exposure, and decrease the contrast. You will not be disappointed. 

Hope I scared you guys, because it sure scared me. Dani out.